Melissa Runcie | Madabella

A Father's Heart: Guest Post by Noel Runcie

In honor of Father's Day, I have been sharing the series on a father's love. Today, I have the pleasure of opening my writing home to my husband, Noel.

One of the greatest ways Noel demonstrates love is in fatherhood. As a father, He is tender and gentle. He listens and responds with warmth and intention. He exemplifies Christ, even in his shortcomings, because his desire is to serve. It’s not unusual for my husband to contemplate and ponder deep before expressing himself. But when he does speak his mind, a strength takes over that I’ve seen in very few people.  

In recent moments reminiscing about our girls, Noel shared about the quality of time spent with them. “It’s not just about playing softball together or going to the park to play. I enjoy being with them for who they are…” As he shared his observations about his daughters, I sensed his great love. And I’m so pleased, he agreed to write his thoughts in honor of Father’s Day. I hope you enjoy hearing from him as much as I do.

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Anyone can be a parent, but fathering is love. Without love there is nothing.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13)

I have been blessed to be accepted, validated and loved by my father. This is what we men seek to know from our fathers – ultimately that we have done a good job. God blessed me and my wife with two beautiful amazing girls, full of colorful character and wonder. I repeatedly ask myself: How do I make sure they feel loved and validated as girls, now and into the future as they walk into womanhood? I have so many questions, I know it’s only through the adventure of trials, experiences and battles will they fully be realized and answered.

When first coming into the stages of fatherhood I recall thinking, "I want to be a father like my dad, caring and loving, someone that can see beyond the now and point me in the right direction of knowing God.” Becoming good friends with both my father in laws, they took me in as a son and fathered me in ways that taught me how to reach for goals I didn’t think were attainable, to be involved, to never give up, and to be forgiving in the hardest of circumstances. From the wisdom and kindness of these three men, I have been given examples of what I aspire to be in a father.



In the short eight and a half years being a father, I have grown through some of life’s toughest and most beautiful experiences with my girls. There have been nights when a crying shoulder or bedtime story built a connection to my girls that will last through this life. A hug or kiss meant more to me than any worldly aspiration. These gifts that were given to me by my girls will forever live in my heart.

Life moving forward with two little girls can be scary, but will be an adventure I look forward too. I'm eager to see how they grow to become women of God and how they show courage and love in life’s challenges. One thing is certain, I know they will continue to teach me about myself and show me how to become a better father and man.

A Father's Heart: Intimacy and Affection

Approaching Father's Day, I am writing about a Father's love. Today, a revised post from the archives remembering my father and at the end of the week, I will have my favorite guest ever!



Me and Dad, circa 1979

For years I knew my dad's nickname, "Abba" had a meaning that gave us greater insight into who God really is. I'm not sure why I waited so long to tell him. Perhaps God had to ordain the perfect time, place and moment for me to share.

That day came this May 26th. His birthday. 

The character of God is most revealed through His names and titles, some of which are

El Shaddai {God Almighty}

Adonai Yahweh {Sovereign Lord}

Jevohah Jireh {God our Provider}

However, when Jesus came to tear the veil that separated us from God, we could now know God in a new way.

Avi {Father}

We are told "even before he made the world, God loves us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us into Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." Ephesians 1:4-5

Stop and consider that God decided to make US his children. The God who spoke life into existence. The God who set the stars in the heaven. The King of kings and Lord of lords delights in being our Father.

To call God Father means we can have a relationship with Him.

To call God Father means he is deeply personal in our lives, not just some "guy upstairs" or Supreme Being.

We can relate to Him on an intimate basis each and every day.

To call God Father means we can know Him.

As Father, He lavishes us with love, protects us , comforts us, guides us, encourages us, disciplines us and corrects us. No matter what our earthly father is like, our Heavenly Father is the perfect Father...the one who is ALWAYS there for us.

I told my dad that his nickname Abba refers to God as Daddy or Papa.

It is a deeply personal and intimate name, an affectionate name, that gives us an even closer relationship to God. How special it is to know the God Almighty is our Abba.

"We cry, Abba Father and the Spirit of God bears witness that we are indeed children of God through faith in Jesus Christ." Romans 8:15-16

Little did I know the nickname my dad had as a baby when he could barely utter a few sounds was the very name he would need to cry out to when he lay lifeless in a coma and unable to utter a word.

"Dad, you cry out to Abba, Father!"

On June 4th, 2010 I whispered over and over into my dad's ear to cry out for His Father, His Papa, His Daddy to scoop him up into His arms so he would feel no more pain, no more tears.

Today, I don't have my Dad to spend Father's Day with. I have my "Dad Too" who is my stepdad, but even more importantly, I have a Heavenly Father who desires to spend every moment with me. And for that, I am grateful. Eternally grateful.

May today (and every day) be the day YOU spend with your Abba, Father.

A Father's Heart: Love

Approaching Father's Day, I am writing about a Father's love. Today, a repost from the archives and at the end of the week, I will have my favorite guest ever!

Holding red handwritten letters strung together in my hand, something wells up inside me. At first, it doesn’t make much sense. It’s a mystery these words. Are they even words?

I settle on the edge of my daughter’s treasure chest filled with magical clothes that transport her to another world by the imagery of her mind. World of perfect possibility and shimmering lights at all times of the day. World of fascination and every color imaginable and unimaginable. Twirls and curtseys and princes in white horses.

Yellow princess gown lays lifeless on the floor, next to a wand and crown discarded. It was her time to leave the castle of dreams and fairytale endings. Beside this scene of abandoned beauty, I see emotion of words.

Circumstances of play shoved her out of the glistening castle in the sky to write a love letter to sister.

 
A sister who sometimes yells and demands and shuts her out.

A love letter of acceptance and resolve, “I hope you apologize. Sometimes you are mean. But I still love you.”

God’s faint, gentle wind billows beneath and around. Memories crash in and through. Memories of my broken inheritance of sin perfected by bad decisions and consequence ripples and is carried by the wind.  I know, Lord, I have grieved you.

Responding is this mystery of love real and raw that the Prince of Peace, Creator, Mighty God departs the Holy place on high, the grandeur castle in the clouds, hanging up his unequivocal majesty to encapsulate glory in the prison of flesh and bones.

His robe of righteousness lays lifeless on the floor, next to scepter and crown discarded. (Philippians 2:8)

For a moment, He steps out of the beauty that radiates His throne and into a lost and ruined world to pen a love letter in red.

“But I still love you.”

“And I always have.”

The greatest mystery of love is revealed and evidenced in the relationship of Father and Son. The sacrifice both made for you, for me.

This Father who is Rav-Chesed, LORD Abounding in Love.

“The LORD of Lords…abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”Exodus 34:6

The sheer essence of God is His perfect, holy, abounding, fervent love.

God does not merely love, He IS love. Everything He does flows from His love.

The heart of a Father is to love. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love and drawn you with loving-kindness.”Jeremiah 31:3

The beauty of this passage is the display God’s love toward us. We like to say that love is not a feeling or love is a verb. Rather, a higher love is working through the grit and mess of relationships. However, God feels a love deeply for us.

God loves us with everlasting love, Ahab. In Hebrew this word for love means “to desire, to breathe after, to be inclined toward, to delight in.” Love is indeed a feeling and God has an affection toward us that is inconceivable and reassuring.

God’s love toward His children is also a covenant loyal promise that will never be broken because it is rooted on who HE is, not who we are.

By this unfailing, constant, merciful, unchanging, eternal love we have been redeemed. (Isaiah 63:9)

A distilled response or lack of affection will not change or disfigure God’s love toward me. Transient and wavering is my love for God, but His divine love is an anchor to my soul.  

The One Who Really Needs to Understand Me

The dinner table is our sanctuary. We peel away layers of the day and gather close to pray, talk about our day and simply be. Our words are usually uplifting and encouraging, but the other night, words were misunderstood.

Just about every day, Madelyn eagerly tells me about a neighbor or friend at school that needs Jesus! At the bookstore, she’ll bring me a Bible and say, “She needs this, Mommy!” or I’ll hear prayers of friends names roll off her tongue. When my father was in the hospital, Madelyn wrote a card that said, “I pray you know God.”

Madelyn’s heart is set to the tune of evangelism and I pray she always has the willingness to share the love of Christ.

Head bowed, I offered up a prayer for my youngest daughter. “Lord, please continue to give Madelyn a burden in her heart for her friends to know you.”

Before I could say “Amen,” Madelyn bolted upstairs mumbling on about a birdie.

Excitedly she rejoined us at the table with a toy bird in her hand. “Birdie! Birdie! You don’t have to pray that I have a birdie in my heart, mama! I have one right here, see?!”

We all looked at each other clueless at first and then laughed as we realized Madelyn heard my prayer as “birdie” rather than “burden.”

At times it’s not simply words that are misunderstood, but also motives or actions. It’s inevitable that we will encounter moments of defeat or loneliness, seemingly climbing an uphill battle to be understood. Or trying to understand those around us.

A well of hurt can rise within when we have been falsely judged or when others look beyond the heart of who we are and make assumptions or misguided criticism. Eventually if you dwell on your circumstance long enough, it becomes larger than it really is and the pit we have dug ourselves only becomes deeper. Last year, I was in this circumstance and it was so hard to set my mind on what I knew to be true.

And there have been times I misunderstood or wrongly criticized others. We’ve all been guilty of having preconceived notions and making assumptions.

There lies a deep desire in all of us to be known and valued. And the truth is, we are.

Only Jesus Christ knows our true hearts. He formed our most inward parts and He sees the deepest places that dwell under the surface. It is only when I truly love people, that I can look past the surface. Rather than try to understand others, I can know they are loved by God.

Walk in confidence, knowing you are fully understood by God, even when misunderstandings isolate you. He makes our motives right, He allows us to love others unconditionally and He imparts grace to extend to others.

Madelyn may have thought I wanted “birdies” flying around in her heart, but even amidst misunderstandings, my Heavenly Father knew exactly what I wanted. A burden for the others. In her heart and mine. 

Sacred Summer + Printable Summer Mini Album

When my daughters were much younger, I raced against the clock to meet their needs. Whether to bathe them, read stories at bedtime or play board games, I always had something more important to accomplish, a more urgent request to fulfill. Time with my daughters became one big rush hour.

However, summer taught me the sacred of motherhood where time ceases to exist.

Several years ago, I slowed my life to catch up to theirs. I learned to capture my girls as they truly were rather than who I wanted them to be or what I wanted them to do. No longer going head to head with Father Time, I simply began to see. To look around and fellowship with my precious little ones.




I saw laughter and delight.
I saw beauty and love.
I saw needs and fears.
I saw innocence and vulnerability. 

That summer, I saw them with a renewed passion and wanted to soak up every minute rather than wish them away for the sake of reaching my own goals.



What a beautiful day it was to be with my daughters without looking behind me to see what I missed or looking ahead, overwhelmed of all that is left to do. I no longer walked ahead of them, calling for them to catch up, behave this way, do this right, don't do that. More often, I sat in their shadows, followed their footsteps and let them lead me to a magical place of joy that only a child truly knows. 

This summer, I want to remember the sacred. The sacred of being present. Most of those moments will be snapshots sketched in my mind, but sometimes I'm quick enough to bring my camera along to simply capture life.

To honor the stillness of time ushered in by summer, I created a 10-page Mini Album to catalogue the gift of our days. The album contains a cover page and 10 distinct, whimsical pages for you to add photos and remember the sacred. 




To download the 10-Page Summer Mini Album along a "Days of Summer List" to write down your dreams for the summer, click here at MODSquad, Mothers of Daughters, where I write about my perspective on motherhood each month.

Enjoy creating and capturing life's sacred moments!