Kelly Langner Sauer
A Restless Heart
Kelly's introspective writings and beautiful photography have captivated me for quite sometime. Her authenticity is equally compelling, but her heart for the Lord is what won me over. My intuition sensed she would contribute a perspective that stretched my own understanding of rest. I'm so glad I followed the whispers of my heart...enjoy!
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Melissa asked a restless heart to write about rest.
I wonder a little at her logic.
My writing is so often storm-tossed, thoughts dashed off in what few quiet moments I get to sort them in a given day. I think I am constantly in pursuit of rest, setting my fears in order, trying to trust, usually failing miserably before I realize that rest isn't actually found in the trying, but in the stopping.
It's found in the "there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus."
It is found in His "It is finished" once for all.
There was a time when I meant to learn to rest. After all, we are told to "rest in the Lord." I went searching for some proven method to rest, tried to make up my mind to rest, apply myself to rest.
I only ended up burdening myself more.
The harder I tried, the more restless I became, the more I chafed beneath the weight of my labor. "If I could just get this, then I could rest," was the summation of my fallible logic.
At the end of my efforts, I was frustrated and annoyed with God for asking me to rest, when there was no earthly way I could get there. It was like the carrot on a stick, something I'd have to believe without seeing until I entered into true rest - you know, at the end of my life.
It wasn't until I reached this point that I recognized that all along, God had never wanted me to focus so much on the rest as on the Way who promised He'd give it if I came to Him.
"Come to me, all ye who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
I will give.
Before I ever thought I needed rest, Jesus promised that He'd give it.
I have a mental picture of Him saying that: It's high noon on a hot day. The people around Him are waiting for Him to declare Himself king, take the world by storm so that everything in their world will be all right today. They've learned to wait. But they're getting antsy.
"We're here already," they answer, wondering when exactly He plans to give that rest.
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart."
I can see thought bubbles with grandiose visions popping all over the crowd.
But my heart responds, His Spirit replying with a "yes," that compels me toward Him, to hand my burdens over to His dust poured red beneath the cross where He bore my griefs and carried my sorrows, where the condemnation that drives me most days died a hard and rugged death, once and for all.
That is where this restless heart finally settles. The trying has no place there, and I find my rest in Him, like a cool breeze blowing in on the hottest of days. I fall back, let it flow over me, cool the pressure in my heart. At the end of my futile effort, I am always brought - failing, faltering dust - to Jesus.
"For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” But you would not, And you said, “No, for we will flee on horses”— Therefore you shall flee! And, “We will ride on swift horses”— Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift! One thousand shall flee at the threat of one, At the threat of five you shall flee, Till you are left as a pole on top of a mountain And as a banner on a hill. Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him. - Is. 31:15-18
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